One Thing Led to Another

One Thing Led to Another
Katy Regan

A smart, punchy, poignant and achingly funny debut based on Katy Regan’s hugely popular Marie Claire column And then there were three…sort of.Tess Jarvis’ rules for life have always been somewhatrelaxed…1.Never go to bed before your last guest has leftTess and Gina's flat has a jacuzzi so it's the obvious location for a party … every night2.Make great friends and keep them closeThough not actually in your bed. Tess and Jim’s claims that they are ‘just good friends’ has everyone’s eyes rolling.3.Look on the bright side of lifeAfter all it could be so much worse. Tess’s job interviewing the nation’s catastrophes proves this every day.4.Don’t wait for the weekend to wear your fancy knickersAlthough be warned, this can lead to all manner of messes…Tess has always been one to wing it but she’s fast realizing that her bank of blag is running out of funds. At 28, is it time to grow up? Maybe having a baby with your best friend isn't the best way to start…

One Thing

Led to Another

Katy Regan

For Louis and Fergus

Table of Contents

Cover Page (#u63424e46-4564-539e-a51c-624897c60618)

Title Page (#u8ce70a64-43ce-5cbd-8d5d-c28a7ff28351)

Dedication (#u8d31a13e-61f3-5592-9363-f07bc4f70159)

Prologue (#u681d4e92-b2cb-5fa2-9ac3-74871ace10dd)

CHAPTER ONE (#u32da7a7f-ded0-5f30-b537-24506f664ca7)

CHAPTER TWO (#u13a901f4-7ab9-5992-aa85-099a6c82abb5)

CHAPTER THREE (#u04c13669-7de3-5705-b3bd-97a941905585)

CHAPTER FOUR (#u0631bbc4-1f28-5451-b920-4c13ca664be4)

CHAPTER FIVE (#u5f2880d0-7610-59ee-b451-0643d1eaa8c8)

CHAPTER SIX (#ud5e9bd0c-bc45-592b-b445-95e0eacaa2ed)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#uedbdcc0b-5b86-5c25-bbb8-bdccb0cd04cd)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTY (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)

One Thing Led to Another (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

Prologue (#ulink_731c6f70-2c29-5cbe-8015-c4731e119615)

Two minutes it says to wait, two minutes and bam! Your life changed forever. Imagine that. No God, on second thoughts, let’s not. Let’s just calm down, breathe deeply and concentrate. I take off my watch. It’s one of those underwater sports ones. Great for boiling eggs and ideal for timing how long my mother can monologue on the phone whilst I am doing something else.

I never dreamt I’d be using it for this.

I set it: 2.00. The numbers glow neon in the darkness, a countdown to my fate. Could I be? If I really thought I was, surely I’d have chosen somewhere better than a self-cleaning toilet in the middle of SE1 to have such a life-changing experience.

1.45

It was only once. Once! Out of only a handful of times that we’d even bloody done it in the first place – that we thought we’d…how can I put this…leave it to Jim’s impeccable timing and wing it.

1.40

But there’s winging it and winging it, isn’t there? And the more images of that night come at me like film stills on double speed replay, the more I’m thinking the odds are stacked against us.

1.35

There’s the position for a start. Oh Shit. Me on my back, legs wrapped around his neck in possibly the most sperm receptive position of all time, on day 16 ( I know, I’ve counted, about a million times) of my cycle.

1.00

And then there were the knickers: black satin tie-at-the-side jobs, and on a school night. I mean, what kind of whore am I? And the fact I can’t drive. If only I could drive, this could all have been avoided. If my mother had just bought me driving lessons at seventeen like every other reasonable mother in the whole world, if she had just trusted me, not assumed I was an accident waiting to happen (quite literally), I would have driven home, safely home, very probably in a thoroughly un-alluring pair of Bhs briefs, and been tucked up in bed by 11 p.m. instead of flat on my back with my legs around Jim Ashcroft’s neck.